The end

I'm almost there, and so is the time. My AIESEC traineeship will end in a couple of days. The feeling of ending this period of my life grows stronger and stronger with each day passing by.

To look back I see smiles, way so many smiles ... I see hard times that I've done to myself with my own mind ... I smell happiness, pure and innocent one ... I see goals that have been reached and those that only have been started to move ... I see dreams coming reality and things that weren't even dream off getting shape in unexpected moments. It was good.

Now another time is coming around: to pack, look back once more and go.

Update

As my words looked too fluffy to me and expressing way too less from what I have felt and experienced, I've switched to posting a kind of photo blog. The stories behind them and the moments not captured in a picture are alive somewhere and there will be a time for them to be told.

Dijkgraaf, Wageningen, the Netherlands

I was thinking for a long time to write about the place where I live: Wageningen and the corridor in Dijkgraaf and the previous Psychotel. In short words I like them: friendly dutch and internationals, lots of nature around, nice pubs.

My second house was on Kapelstraat 1 ... a house named Psychotel (don't ask me why :). If is it to look back there ... a "neata" with dutch accent in every morning, barbecue, dinners ...

The first and also the third place that became my house is Dijkgraaf, an 18 floors high hostel. Some of the things that crosses my mind about the corridor where I'm living: a Christmas dinner, watching movies, barbecue, walks on the Veluwe Park, dinners, smiles and jokes, long talks, lazy sunny days, trying my mouth in Dutch, people that became familiar faces to me. It's a good spot that kitchen and I really enjoy having you around.

new color

You Are a Yellow Crayon

Your world is colored with happy, warm, fun colors. You have a thoughtful and wise way about you. Some people might even consider you a genius. Charming and eloquent, you are able to get people to do things your way. While you seem spontaneous and free wheeling, you are calculating to the extreme. Your color wheel opposite is purple. You both are charismatic leaders, but purple people act like you have no depth.

What Color Crayon Are You?

Neata

A 2 minutes thing done in the morning ... as the good mood was sticking to me.

After a smiley goedemorgen/good morning round through the office, I thought why not spread the good mood further more (geographically speaking). I've chosen more or less randomly some people from my lists in instant messengers and send a happy, smiley "'neata" (that's Romanian for "'morning"), and a :) (for a good couple of days). No further discussion or reply was expected by me.

And ... you know ... what goes around, comes around ... I was even more happier to see some of them (I don't care that there were only a very small few of them) enjoyed it.

Neata :)

Le Tour de France 2007

It has been another edition of Le tour de France; this time starting from London, going through Belgium on the way to Champs Elysees.
I've been watching it since long time ago. In fact it's a funny story: at the beginning, when I was hearing radio and TV reports, I was immediately switching to something else, as it looked like lose of time. And I became addicted in the past years :), as a rule for summers when I had TV or internet it was Le tour pour cete appres-midi. It's relaxing stuff for holiday, sometimes taking me to sleep; other times energetic, making me to go outside in search for some sports activities (as I hadn't got a bike until this year). The views, the TV commentaries, the fight at the end of each stage, the break-outs, the joy brought to the audience on the places it passes by ... it's impressive, it's different that other sports.

This year I was really amazed to see the white jersey (the best young cyclist), Contador, fighting and playing "cat and mouse" with the yellow jersey. Despite all the doping argues and disqualifications, I kept the wonderful image of Le tour, due to the places it passed by (Col du Galibier, Col d'Aubisque, Col de la Colombiere, Val d'Isere, etc), the fights and speed on climbing and time trials, the team work and strategies.

Unfortunately, the arrival on Champs Elysees caught me on the couch, and not in Paris as I wanted. I had in plan a trip by car, but now I was smiling when I saw the traffic jams around there. I was really happy to recognize almost all the places in Paris that le peloton passed by and the images from this spring came back to my memory; it was really great week-end back then with Madalina (I hope you still have the todo list for next trip :) ), Mihaela and Luci.
No worries, it's time to get a finish in the incoming years. Until then, Ula we have a tour of the Netherlands to see.

Is there more?

As I was enjoying my yummy red gooseberries after another biking in the dark night, a thought cross my chaotic mind: is there more?

I've done some great stuff (at least for me they are), I felt really fantastic, people congratulated me, showed their friendliness towards me. Also I've done some huge mistakes, I've been incredibly stupid, felt like a looser, people were angry with me, disappointed or begun ignoring me. I've been given friendship, love, hate.
Besides all of these there was the feeling that something is missing.
Be it good or bad, I had feelings, I've done things, they had feelings towards me, we've done things, they shared living with me.
There is something more to be done or felt. It looked like all of them weren't so real for me. Even if I was completely into one way or another, something was missing for me. A piece of the puzzle wasn't at it's place and I could saw the table behind it.

Now I was asking myself: is there more? That something is real, is it achievable?

Say what?

rain in Wageningen

From it happens in...

L.E.: A rain passed by Wageningen. Nothing special from where I work: water going down, a few thunders ... relaxing rain. On the other corner of Wageningen ... you can see what a thunder can make. Luckly there were no wounded.

Addicted

Hy! My name is Mircea and I'm a bike addicted (also). :)

sand in my shoes
It was last Sunday around noon. I build up some courage, picked up my pin card and went to the shop ... and I wake up on the dike, the Rijn dijk in Wageningen :). I was planning for some biking but there were some unfinished work on my desk ... so back to Dijkgraaf.
In the afternoon, after I chased the clouds away, I gathered the few needed stuff and went away ... ok ... now were ... hmm, the open flat fields that I first tried on long trips, a while ago weren't so attractive ... than be it all the way to the forest. From Bennekom to Ede and then entering the national park ... only on the bike's road ... boring. So I couldn't help myself and I entered directly into the forest, I mean through narrow ground paths, as almost all my route that day was through the woods. In a few words: merveilleux, fantastic, no comment ... perfect fresh air, no one around, woods like in my hometown, almost 20km/h on on trees' roots at 1cm near the water ... Oh ... about the sand, I really had sand in my shoes from the wadlopen (I hadn't got time or ... I was too lazy to clean then up).

further, a little bit further
As an awful head ache was threatening my sleep I went down planning to take a tour on the dike ... only on the part from Wageningen. As my mood was going upper and upper, the landscape was gorgeous (the sun was way down, all the valley was bit by bit sinked in mist, from Arnhem heavy clouds and thunders were coming), I pushed myself a little bit and a little bit more all the way to Rhenen. To be honest, I don't know if it's far or very close; for me was a real adventure and a ticket to a good night sleep.

forest ahead
And I've just got the taste of it. Yesterday I went again, this time with Cipri. Hmmm...where should we go ... on the Rhine valley all the way to Renkum and back on the other side of the Wageningen's "mountain":). And guess where we end up ... into the forest, to be more precise a fir wood (that I truly madly deeply love).
As the number 3 is a winning one ... it took me 3 attempts to find the good way without any canals or fences at the end :)

good night kangaroos
Today, my feet weren't happy to sit on the couch, so I took them ... to the Rhine dike, all the way from Wageningen to Rhenen. I think someone has shorten the road, it went so quick, all the way, but I earned my good sleep for tonight. And they told me "slaap lekker"... them ... the small kangaroos at the end of the dike.

And the lucky thing ... a pair of birds have made their nest in my garage ... and the birds' poop brings luck :)

Words about a traineeship...

AIESEC Iasi newsletter

Once upon in May

My backpack and a bunch of AIESEC-ers or only myself or just people, rain over the mountains, sunset over the sea, forests and roads, strange languages, new people, ordinary persons that are shining through only one spot, good bye endings with "see you somewhere in Europe", first time ever, step after step ... it begun in the late April and ended with the first days of June. This is my May, a piece of dream becoming reality, tempering my thirst of stepping, growing my hunger of living.
There are images sticking to my eyes, strength arousing in my joy, dreaming, fighting, smiling, trying, tasting, life kicking out, further and further.
Life happens now.

smells like teen spirit

.............Oerol .........................................Parkpop ....................................Lowlands
............. 15th - 24th June ..........................24th June ........................17th - 19th August

What's up, doc?

As I decided once again that being angry and complaining will end up like before, I took my lovely pinky to a hard walk into the sunset. Way up to Rhenen I manage to relax a little bit watching the fields under the cloudy sky going darker into the night.

Then, the moment of truth came. There I was firing up my feet up on the dike. A sudden smile aroused when I remembered the fluffy lambs and the very fast running sheep that I saw there on Sunday, or the small rabbits crossing my way a few months ago, or the ducks on a dark alley that scarred me in the middle of the night
And there it was, only a few meters in front of me, looking towards me. It can't be, my eyes are seeing things again. Hmm, it's really moving ... faster ... faster ... it was running the same speed as me. For a couple of minutes I was chasing a rabbit.

Be vely vely quiet. Sssst! I'm chasing wabbits!

To do list: biking gloves and a helmet.

collecting footsteps

I am guilty. I cannot stop doing it: either I start it myself or just someone arises from nowhere and grabs me there.

I’ve collected footsteps of capitals and unknown cities, under my bike or a car, under trains or airplanes, under my own foot. There were hundreds and thousands of kilometers. There were tens of new people met. It's completely nothing compared to others; it's what others will never even dare to dream about.

Besides all is what remains inside. The water flows continuously. Within myself I’m challenged to new feelings, to build slowly, to were a new pair of eyes linked to the past views. I am hungry of more.

Points of view

Since I arrived in the Netherlands I was confronted with an issue: what makes me as a Romanian different from other people, what defines the Romanian way of viewing life. Excepting the traditions, language, way of snoring, there are some hidden things that you discover while you are in contact with peoples from other countries.
Recently, after a few talks with different peoples I realized the reasons for continuing my experience; mostly they are the good parts, but also there are the bad parts that once discovered makes me want to confront them.

I was reading the comments after the vote regarding the suspended president of Romania and there were 2 remarks that made me write this post:

If a parliament elected by us found that he was wrong, then there must be
something in it. I did not need to analyse their decision, I just trusted them. (source)

I support the president, because he stands alone against everybody. (source)

N.B. Those comments ARE NOT representative for the general romanian opinion. I just post them as they made me aware of a point of view from which I could make some light in my corners :)
The first one made me think about the importance of reviewing your past decisions.
I've read the second one having in mind a discussion about blindly supporting the one that is fighting alone without asking myself about the reasons that made him do that or the effect of his/her actions.

the time has come

the further I step ahead the stronger it gets, both the sword and the daemon
it's a long, strange path ahead
more greener that it have ever been
deeper moment by moment
it doesn't have an end, only a story

[...]Keep the beast in my nature under ceaseless attack[...]

beauty of life

In the past few months, one song keeps on singing inside my head ... mostly for this :

So no one told your life was gonna be this way.

... be it mostly that my mind comes out of a storm, or be it (not so often) when I feel really low and disappointed and "blah blah" ... a smile of wonder and joy sticks on my face; the happiness of the moments that I'm living and the amaze of how things turned out to be ... it's so funny weird ...

share

I was reading last week some reactions after one of the greatest AIESEC conferences: ITC. Even though I wasn't there to live that experience, the conferences and other AIESEC activities that I've attended so far helped understand a big part of the enthusiasm and happiness present in the e-mails. One thought stick to my brain: sharing; sharing your life experience, your ideas, your vision, your view of everything.
As I read blogs pretty often, I recognized in sharing the biggest value of one.

I begun writing this blog as many friends asked me to tell them how is it like; after that different reasons made me write another and another post: the happiness of doing what I've done so far; or the lack of happiness, seeking for admiration from you, being proud of what I write about, just to make me happy; or the thought of writing some kind of a travel journal. Sometimes I put down only facts, other times only feelings in the way I could.

Now, above all reasons, I am aware that sharing an experience it's a big deal ... for real.

Avoid the war

Liberation Day (Dutch: Bevrijdingsdag) is celebrated each year on May 5 in the
Netherlands to mark the end of the German occupation during the Second World
War.

Lucky me, the place where the treaty was signed is Wageningen, the city where I live ... so you can imagine that it was the center of the entire celebration.

For now I want to stop a little bit on the street theater that happened on the night of the 4th of May, the beginning of the celebration. It happened on 2 levels stage in a square in Wageningen, next to the hotel where the treaty was signed back in 1945.
A group of young people dressed in white were the ones acting. On the top level images were projected.
At the beginning it was a peaceful blue sky, lovely birds' songs, slow movements; all was full of harmony and peace and purity. The rhythm became more energetic: the struggle for staying alive, for reaching the lost moments of the wonder of living; strong noises of bombardiers, screams of a young woman, physical punishments of bodies dressed in white.
They put the entire feeling of a dark war into art; in my mind only one idea was present: stop the war; give the sky, the sounds, the life to the ones dressed in white.
It ended with the scene of finding back the peace after the war: music, confetti, the loved person ... but it looked so strange to me this celebration of the end of the war. It's the best attitude to be happy when it is over, but in the same time the memories of the bad things that happened were still alive; the happiness of life wasn't so pure as at the beginning.

Avoid the war; it will end some day, but the memory will be alive for ever, exactly as the memory of a happy moment stays in your mind...

Wait and smile

The best place to buy fresh vegetables and fruits is the open market (and the cheapest one ;) ); I always loved to go to the open market in Romania, even though usually I was ending up spending so much time in trying to decide which is the best to buy or ... hmmm ... this also looks good ... this must be so yummy.
Here I was a little bit disappointed when I found out that the open market is only 2 days in a week (Wednesday and Saturday for Wageningen) and it usually ends up too early for me (13.00 on Wednesday and 16.00 - 17.00 on Saturday).

Anyway, the topic of this post is about what a smile and a little bit of patience (or the lack of it) may do.
Two weeks ago I was doing my usual tour of the market, as I was in Wageningen. I stopped at my favorite stall from where I buy the grapefruits and where the old man screams out loud the prices (twee euro kilobanaan één en de helft"). I picked my grapefruits and the waiting begun; I just had to give the money and I could go on my way. I don't remember what it was in my mind or what I had seen but I know that I had a huge smile on my face. As my patience was left home (I had to hurry to get in time to cook my first ever cake ... very important thing :) ), I begun moving from left to right and the other way around, trying to get the attention of any salesman available to take my money :)) . An old woman that was selling there saw me and apologizing, she told me that I'll be served as soon as possible. She even asked a cute girl that was helping her to came and see what I want to buy (that brought another smile on my face). In the meantime I couldn't help my self and picked some bananas ;). In the end, the old saleswoman came to me, and as an apology for my waiting she smiled while she put 2 other fruits in my bag and a merveilleux pineapple (yey, my first ever fresh pineapple :) ).
Yesterday, I've been again to the open market, as last Saturday I went away from Wageningen in a wonderful trip. Of course that I headed to the same stall, this time only for bananas and oranges. I head a great surprise when the same old saleswoman came to the corner where I was waiting. She apologized again for making me wait (she was speaking with another woman), that brought a smile on my face (this time a very shy smile, as my cold was controlling my face). But this time ... no pineapple, no reward for my patience ... she just attention me that the tomatoes are expensive when I asked for a kilo. We have a saying in Romania: The pitcher doesn't go twice into the water (translated mot-a-mot).

The next time you'll go to the open market, smile to the old saleswoman ... she may give you a pineapple ;)

Great expectations

Last Saturday I went on another amazing trip around Netherlands; that kind of traveling that I really enjoy: seeing all kind of places, human made things, flavour of different cities, smaller or bigger. The days before it I haven't thought about it not for even a second ... I just knew that it's going to happen and my mind didn't bother to make plans or preview it. This is what gives such powerful and unique and full of life flavour to my travelings: wake up in the morning, drink my milk/tea and step out the door without thinking at all about how it's going to be.
A few weeks before I was talking with a friend and setting up some expectations, reasoning the act of adventuring in this new trip. There were some good ideas there but they couldn't bring to me the joy of doing it.

Maybe a new time has come for me: living without being blinded by my own great expectations or idealistic approach on my acts. It's happening more and more often.

I have the same thing with human relations (a girl/woman that I like, friends, or just simple people around me): setting up my expectations and blindly going forward just with them in my mind; wanting one thing so much that everything second is given for fulfilling it ... and I wake up laughing on what a foul I have been.

Life has so many colors and flavours and it is so complex and dynamic that none of my fixed ideas can resist it. It has to go by itself like that smile that I've met on a sunny day.
Religion, living, happiness ... they know one word: courage

biking

1st of April

Biking

2nd of April

tuesday

My mind has to be really bored to listen to all those stupid thoughts about lucky or bad lucky day.
I think it's only coincidence that when I came here I was receiving unexpected great happy news or unexpected awesome things happened to me, and I also think that it's still coincidence that my last Tuesday are unexpectedly for bad news, moods, things. The good part is that at one point I've got fed up with bad and I just look with merci to my bad luck ... life is short, play more ... love comes back to you ... make love, not war ... just do it ... look, it's raining

AIESEC and “It's up to you”

I have just finished reading again the comments on the great news about Gabiza becoming the President of AIESEC International. Congrats Gabiza!
Her story together with stories of other AIESEC-ers are always remanding me about ''It's up to you’. The easiest thing for me is waiting for opportunities to came in front of my eyes, to be delivered to me, and not being the one that seeks for them, the one that creates them for himself. So far, I think it was also a little bit of luck that in almost one year of AIESEC I’ve been part of an OC, I’ve attended the TtT (Train the trainers), I’ve been to 4 conferences and focused on a traineeship in the same time. I'm totally convinced that giving up on fears and the commodity of day by day life I can seek and bring to life much more opportunities to develop myself within AIESEC.
There is another fact that made me one more time aware of the thing that it’s up to me to do whatever crosses your mind. Since I came to the Netherlands the though of organizing something with and for the trainees keep on bumping in my neurons. Due to different and silly reasons it remained only an idea … and now I saw that another trainee brought it to life. I don’t mind that someone else made it happen; I’m just looking at myself and wondering: Have you ever heard about It’s up to you?
To take it to a higher level, I am wondering which direction I should take. I love AIESEC and I see great opportunities for me to keep developing within it for the next few years … but for the same few next years I have other opportunities apart from AIESEC. Both of them require my full time and dedication. Being sorry for what I haven’t done it’s less and less my way of thinking day by day.
And now I’m thinking … thinking … thinking … It’s up to you!

P.S. Hmmm…this topic looks like a post for my green blog, if I haven’t put it there already :)

five

The strongest reason for me on going in eXchange with AIESEC was personal development, to put order in my life and rediscover myself.
Today there are exactly 5 months since I'm in the Netherlands. There were bad parts and good parts, I've been down in my ugly corners of myself and up on the miracle of living in this world. I've could done much more and I've done things that I've not dreamed about (or dreamed and forgot). Looking to my good time here I'm satisfied.
And as I am concerned on developing my friendliness part and human relationships, I celebrated this moment by a dinner at my place with those that helped me in making it happen: my ex AIESEC buddy, Iris, the TNco in AIESEC Wageningen, Chris, and the two first persons that I've met in the Netherlands, two great friends(Joost and my great TN manager Lisanne). I'm to happy to say more english words about them. All day long I've had a high felling of happiness and smiling. And to complete the list and because I love being around the other trainees ... Mihai(Romania), Eneko(Spain) and Bachar(Sweden).
Dinner and a walk on the Wageningen's dike in the night ... gezellig.
And it wasn't over: I received the first e-mail since I'm here from an old and dear friend from back home. Thanks Catalina.

I will put today's mood in a safe bag and use in every day that it will be raining. And the bad moods I want to trade them for words; anyone interested?

languages

I've heard so many people telling stories about how they forget that they have to speak in a particular language with different people ... and there it came my turn; quite funny for me.
First it happened 2 or 3 months ago while chatting with a romanian: it was english, than french and in the end a few words in romanian. My first reaction on seeing the romanian words: errr, in what language are you speaking?
After that an "aici" slept out of my mouth while explaining something to my boss.
Last week, I did it really great: "Do you want ceai, Mihai?" ... I didn't realized what I was saying until he begun laughing at me :)
And today, another bird flew out of my mouth "poftim?" (with a large smile to my boss).
I haven't paid very much attention to speak in a language or another; it is easy for me to control it (even though sometimes I really feel like talking 1001 words per second in romanian). It really amuses me to hear myself speaking in the wrong language ... hmmm ... I think I will try sometimes to speak suddenly only in romanian to somebody who doesn't know the language; I want to see the expression on his/her face :) ... any volunteer?

Blowing my nose

Today I've been very productive at work: I've filled my whole garbage bag with napkins.

Lately, I've become more aware of how similar humans are and how small this world it is. I've read more and more blogs and get to know more and more people and to my surprise I've discovered so many things in them that are also in me. Words can express so well feelings and images ... and words means also quiet. The human beings are so similar and in the same time so different, everybody is so unique.
I have a hunger for art, literature and meditation and philosophy. It is a totally different sensation than traveling or basketball or technology or black chocolate.

Life time experience

For a couple of days a thought keeps on bumping in my head: what is my part and what is this adventure’s part? This traineeship came on my path so naturally.
I have tried the same thing in 2005 at a smaller scale, I felt exactly the same freedom of myself like this time and I ended it before time in a sad way.

I remember the beginning that lead me here: my inner life written on paper and read by two humans, my eyes closed under an acacia and a undefined black image of my future, the happiest smile on my lips, two days of terrible fears that not even my family or my best friends couldn’t settle them down … and I was gone.

It is a lifetime experience in the way that I faced my naked ego (the entire past, the status of now and the eagerness of my future). The environment: AIESEC, the Netherlands and what I have discovered and I’m enjoying so much: my friends and my family. I’m not nominating any particular name as what they are to me doesn’t fit in words.

How I’m changed or how this is a life time experience I don’t have a clue … maybe you’ll have when we’ll meet on a random street.

smile

The past days weren't quite so sunny as I though ... and I found out last night that I was pretending I'm OK. Some kind of home sick, a little bit of "why I am fucking talking to you? why I'm listening to you?", "damn, I'm far from my native language", "damn, I'm doing it again and again ... stop yourself", and some of "how it would be if I'll ... or if ... or if ...". Not even looking back on the great parts of my 4+ months here couldn't make me aware of happiness. I am stubborn in looking to the bad ... yeah right, this is why I'm smiling.

Anyway, the reason for this post is the video and a story from Loredana's blog (for those of you that don't read romanian ... she did exactly the same great thing as in the video). I've asked for a hug from a stranger (I don't remember if only once) and I receive it ... it made me feel great :)

Year change

Hmmm… now it’s 2007; it sounds really strange for me, even after 7 years I’m still not used to the 2000 counting; I grow up in the 199x and the 21^st century looks really … SF :)

The 12.00 moment got me on the streets of Utrecht with Romanian guys (Cipri and Ionica and girl (Cristina … without Gelu :) ). It was a true Dutch year crossing: it begun raining and we’ve stopped in front of a bike store … to drink the Champaign (much more a bubbling wine, not the French brand :) ) and light up the fireworks. And speaking about fireworks … the sky was full of colors and the streets full of their noise; there were some really cute noise making things: you know the “pétard” that everyone is using in this time of the year … ok now think at 3 meters long line full of them; that’s really a noise making stuff.

And to make it a Romanian celebration we enjoyed the Romanian food (sarmale si carnati udate cu palinca de piersica) and listened and danced on Romanian specific music.

Happy New Year!

P.S.: Romania is part of EU ;)

My Christmas

I wished to spend this Christmas with some friendly and smiley people … and guess what? It really happened. It happened in Maastricht and the people were AIESEC trainees (some new for me, some that I’ve knew already).

I lived a strong Christmas feeling: carols in the background, Santa’s gifts (I got a head massage thing, really good and exciting ;) ; I think it was the only material gift for me this year, excepting the made in Wageningen Bitter from my firm :) ), Christmas tree (a trainee Christmas tree), traditional Romanian food (I haven’t eaten it in the past 3 months and I really enjoyed remembering its taste) and some other dishes from Malaysia, USA, Canada and Turky. Something else happened, something that I’ve missed for a while: long talks until 4 or 5 in the morning, just talking and having fun. On the first day of Christmas I fulfilled again my dream of traveling, this time in Maastricht: a mix of Dutch and Belgium, of Roman and 21^st century views.

Thanks David and Jake.

P.S.: a few days before going there I begun feeling like Christmas: in the middle of the night I wrote Christmas cards for back home.