tuesday

My mind has to be really bored to listen to all those stupid thoughts about lucky or bad lucky day.
I think it's only coincidence that when I came here I was receiving unexpected great happy news or unexpected awesome things happened to me, and I also think that it's still coincidence that my last Tuesday are unexpectedly for bad news, moods, things. The good part is that at one point I've got fed up with bad and I just look with merci to my bad luck ... life is short, play more ... love comes back to you ... make love, not war ... just do it ... look, it's raining

AIESEC and “It's up to you”

I have just finished reading again the comments on the great news about Gabiza becoming the President of AIESEC International. Congrats Gabiza!
Her story together with stories of other AIESEC-ers are always remanding me about ''It's up to you’. The easiest thing for me is waiting for opportunities to came in front of my eyes, to be delivered to me, and not being the one that seeks for them, the one that creates them for himself. So far, I think it was also a little bit of luck that in almost one year of AIESEC I’ve been part of an OC, I’ve attended the TtT (Train the trainers), I’ve been to 4 conferences and focused on a traineeship in the same time. I'm totally convinced that giving up on fears and the commodity of day by day life I can seek and bring to life much more opportunities to develop myself within AIESEC.
There is another fact that made me one more time aware of the thing that it’s up to me to do whatever crosses your mind. Since I came to the Netherlands the though of organizing something with and for the trainees keep on bumping in my neurons. Due to different and silly reasons it remained only an idea … and now I saw that another trainee brought it to life. I don’t mind that someone else made it happen; I’m just looking at myself and wondering: Have you ever heard about It’s up to you?
To take it to a higher level, I am wondering which direction I should take. I love AIESEC and I see great opportunities for me to keep developing within it for the next few years … but for the same few next years I have other opportunities apart from AIESEC. Both of them require my full time and dedication. Being sorry for what I haven’t done it’s less and less my way of thinking day by day.
And now I’m thinking … thinking … thinking … It’s up to you!

P.S. Hmmm…this topic looks like a post for my green blog, if I haven’t put it there already :)

five

The strongest reason for me on going in eXchange with AIESEC was personal development, to put order in my life and rediscover myself.
Today there are exactly 5 months since I'm in the Netherlands. There were bad parts and good parts, I've been down in my ugly corners of myself and up on the miracle of living in this world. I've could done much more and I've done things that I've not dreamed about (or dreamed and forgot). Looking to my good time here I'm satisfied.
And as I am concerned on developing my friendliness part and human relationships, I celebrated this moment by a dinner at my place with those that helped me in making it happen: my ex AIESEC buddy, Iris, the TNco in AIESEC Wageningen, Chris, and the two first persons that I've met in the Netherlands, two great friends(Joost and my great TN manager Lisanne). I'm to happy to say more english words about them. All day long I've had a high felling of happiness and smiling. And to complete the list and because I love being around the other trainees ... Mihai(Romania), Eneko(Spain) and Bachar(Sweden).
Dinner and a walk on the Wageningen's dike in the night ... gezellig.
And it wasn't over: I received the first e-mail since I'm here from an old and dear friend from back home. Thanks Catalina.

I will put today's mood in a safe bag and use in every day that it will be raining. And the bad moods I want to trade them for words; anyone interested?

languages

I've heard so many people telling stories about how they forget that they have to speak in a particular language with different people ... and there it came my turn; quite funny for me.
First it happened 2 or 3 months ago while chatting with a romanian: it was english, than french and in the end a few words in romanian. My first reaction on seeing the romanian words: errr, in what language are you speaking?
After that an "aici" slept out of my mouth while explaining something to my boss.
Last week, I did it really great: "Do you want ceai, Mihai?" ... I didn't realized what I was saying until he begun laughing at me :)
And today, another bird flew out of my mouth "poftim?" (with a large smile to my boss).
I haven't paid very much attention to speak in a language or another; it is easy for me to control it (even though sometimes I really feel like talking 1001 words per second in romanian). It really amuses me to hear myself speaking in the wrong language ... hmmm ... I think I will try sometimes to speak suddenly only in romanian to somebody who doesn't know the language; I want to see the expression on his/her face :) ... any volunteer?

Blowing my nose

Today I've been very productive at work: I've filled my whole garbage bag with napkins.

Lately, I've become more aware of how similar humans are and how small this world it is. I've read more and more blogs and get to know more and more people and to my surprise I've discovered so many things in them that are also in me. Words can express so well feelings and images ... and words means also quiet. The human beings are so similar and in the same time so different, everybody is so unique.
I have a hunger for art, literature and meditation and philosophy. It is a totally different sensation than traveling or basketball or technology or black chocolate.

Life time experience

For a couple of days a thought keeps on bumping in my head: what is my part and what is this adventure’s part? This traineeship came on my path so naturally.
I have tried the same thing in 2005 at a smaller scale, I felt exactly the same freedom of myself like this time and I ended it before time in a sad way.

I remember the beginning that lead me here: my inner life written on paper and read by two humans, my eyes closed under an acacia and a undefined black image of my future, the happiest smile on my lips, two days of terrible fears that not even my family or my best friends couldn’t settle them down … and I was gone.

It is a lifetime experience in the way that I faced my naked ego (the entire past, the status of now and the eagerness of my future). The environment: AIESEC, the Netherlands and what I have discovered and I’m enjoying so much: my friends and my family. I’m not nominating any particular name as what they are to me doesn’t fit in words.

How I’m changed or how this is a life time experience I don’t have a clue … maybe you’ll have when we’ll meet on a random street.